1. Avoidance: This is the most common method. Research has found that decreased contact is the preferred method by guys.
Men will often employ this tactic when intimacy was historically low with a mate and there’s little likelihood of maintaining a friendship.
2. Truth Distortion: Not all that common, but some guys will engage in various forms of distortion as a post-break up strategy. Examples include telling friends, “I’m doing fine,” and “I never really liked her.”
The goal is to reinforce an internal message of being impervious. It also couples as a weapon against an ex that signals: You didn’t mean that much .
3. Incremental Withdrawal of Support: Yet another way guys deal with breakups is by slowly cutting off emotional support. Here, the man will become less available to talk, discuss problems with, and provide comfort.
In this way, the man is telling an ex (indirectly) that he values her less. This is a conscious choice on the part of the guy and is designed to act as an emotional shield.
4.Permanent Timeout: In many ways, this is a cruel strategy used by some men. Here, the guy might say something like: “ Maybe we should have some space from each other.”
When you translate this into guy-speak, it’s almost a surefire bet that he’s calling things off. Moreover, it’s his way of lessening his emotional pain.
5. Jerk: When employing this tactic, they guy will deliberately become obnoxious, rude, argumentative, and outright nasty. The behaviors are designed to send the message: “You hurt me now I’m going to hurt you.”
As alluded to earlier, the more intense the ugliness, the higher the guy’s level of pain. In many ways, this paradoxical approach makes the man feel worse due to intense feelings of guilt.
The only exception to this would be if the guy is a narcissist or sociopath.
6. Direct Dump: This one is exactly what it sounds like; a sudden end to the romance. The decision is announced arbitrarily by the guy and can happen face-to-face, through text or e-mail.
Usually, the girlfriend is not given a choice. An example declarative statement might be: “ This isn’t working out. We’re done.”
Men who take this approach are usually very direct and channel alpha characteristics. If there is one benefit linked to direct dumping, it’s this – there’s no misunderstanding where he stands.
7. Dating Other People: Another approach that some guys will use is to suggest that both parties in the relationship date other people. A typical comment might be: Maybe you should try dating another guy? Here, the inference is that you are in the wrong relationship.
Here, the dumper uses ambiguity to provoke a breakup. Think of it as his way of saying he’s going to be looking elsewhere and so should you.
8: Justification: In relationships with guys who require a high degree of autonomy, you will often see the justification strategy employed.
Example: We’re becoming too dependent upon each other and that’s not healthy.
You’ll also see this method used when a guy is not ready to settle down or has trouble with commitment. I’ve personally observed this in men who have intimacy issues.
9.Blame Game: When cycles of negativity become a pattern, a man will sometimes reach for the blame game approach. This one is used more than you might think.
An example might be a couple that starts talking about their problems. Incapable of taking responsibility (or unwilling to) the guy will blame everything on his mate with the goal of forcing things to end.
In counseling, I’ve personally talked to guys who have revealed to me they intentionally do this as a form of gaslighting.
10 Negotiated Goodbye: The final way a guy will break things off with a mate is through negotiations. This approach is preferred because it gives both parties a chance at supportive communication.
Sadly, it’s not one that is often used by men because, in order to do it, they need to be emotionally vulnerable. When it does happen, it usually occurs in longer-term relationships.
Additionally, guys negotiate when both parties know things have been over for a long time but nobody wants to admit it.